


Atonement

by inkfeathers



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angry Sex, Angst, Canon Universe, During the Time Skip, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-08-04 01:23:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16337054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkfeathers/pseuds/inkfeathers
Summary: Behind closed doors, Eren and Jean find a way to forget themselves.





	Atonement

Warmth.

 

Eren feels so warm, he is surprised he is not steaming right there on the bed. Heat is something that follows Eren around wherever he goes. It’s in his anger, in his passion, in his Titan veins, but this type of warmth is something he is only now starting to learn. It settles deep in his belly and spreads to his fingertips until his whole body trembles with it. And no matter how much he chases it, how much he is burning, scorching, _searing_ with it, he always craves more. _More, more, more_. It’s surprising he is not a pile of ashes by now.

 

That it’s Jean Kirschtein he is sharing this sort of feeling with... well, Eren doesn’t think too deeply about it.

 

What _truly_ matters is the heavy body pressing against his own, the delightful slide of sweaty skin against sweaty skin and the battle of hungry tongues. What’s important is that Eren had never felt anything like this before, had no idea pleasure like this existed, not until Jean made him think about it. Not until he saw the challenge in those eyes and followed his urges in a shameful moment of weakness.

 

Now he is here, and he doesn’t let himself ponder upon it, just as he hasn’t let himself think about it every time they have done this. He lets their bodies do the talking, instead. Listens only to his impulses and clings on for dear life as he is slowly, exquisitely driven to madness.

 

Today, Jean is being especially dominant. He had pressed him face-first to the wall the second they got in Eren’s bedroom, had gripped his wrists with one hand and his hip with the other and had furiously berated him for whatever the fuck happened earlier that day that Eren couldn’t remember. He liked to start out like this, yanking Eren by the hair and throwing him into the bed, eyes molten bronze and so full of anger. And Eren could only watch with a thrill coursing down his whole body as Jean took his belt off in a haste and jumped towards him like a starving beast.

 

And it was usually at that point that things took a different turn.

 

That violence in which they always started these encounters oftenly got lost somewhere halfway, like a forgotten bonfire in the middle of a forest, diminishing but ever present and threatening in their hearts, and they found themselves as they are now, clinging to each other like drowning men to a lifeboat, like they need to make sure the other one is real

 

That strange moment of tenderness would only last a moment--a moment perhaps long enough for them both to dismiss in their memories--before Eren got restless enough to do one of the things he does best: get a rise up on Jean by merely being himself. And so he pulls hard on his comrade’s hair and bites deeply on his shoulder blade, and it’s like pulling a trigger inside of Jean, who draws back and regards him gravely.

 

That look is enough to make his every hair stand on end and for the low fire in his belly to consume him whole.

 

Jean flips him over, and it makes him moan with satisfaction. Eren arches his back for him, lifts his ass for him, and lets himself be held down as Jean lines himself, gasping in pain when Jean fills him entirely in one single thrust.

 

They don’t always do it like this. There are days when Eren would sooner bite his own leg off than submit to Jean, and there are days when Jean all but begs to be put in place, even if he won’t ever admit it. But today Eren wants to give in. Stop fighting, stop hurting. He doesn’t remember well why Jean had gotten so angry at him today, but he doesn’t need to. Thoughts and explanations aren’t part of their unspoken deal.

 

Jean fucks him mercilessly and Eren bites into the sheets to muffle his cries of delight. His hair is long enough now for Jean to grab a handful of it and _pull,_ hurting his scalp, making him wince. His whole body aches but it feels so _good_ and he wants to find release so _bad,_ yet he knows he is not allowed to do so until Jean has finished with him, a rule that only serves to make him leak more into the sheets, mewling pathetically every time his achingly hard cock rubs against the mattress.

 

It’s when he is practically drooling against the covers that Jean goes completely still and Eren’s eyes open wide, alarm running all over him.

 

“Don’t stop!!" He screams wildly, desperately. "Jean, _don’t stop! Why did you stop?!”_

 

Jean slips out of him and Eren could almost cry. Is about to cry, as pathetic as that would be, a plea is forming at the back of his throat before Jean flips him once again, makes him face him. Hooks his legs over his broad shoulders and sheaths himself inside of him once again.

 

“ _Tell me, Eren,_ ” Jean says between pants.“ _Do you think you can get away with everything?!_ ” he yells fiercely, eyes full of emotion, lust and ire dominating his gaze and something else underneath Eren can’t discern at the moment.

 

Eren cries out, arms thrown back beside his head in a mock gesture of surrender.

 

“ _Jean,”_ he gasps. He can’t remember any other word.

 

Jean growls low in his throat before grabbing his cock and jerking him hard and fast. Eren shuts his eyes and arches his back as sensation overcomes him. He bites so hard at his lip he tastes blood, and when Jean spills inside of him, a long drawn-out moan of Eren’s name uttered just beside his ear, Eren comes all over his own chest and sees white at the back of his eyes.

 

Bliss.

 

He might be developing a dependance to it.

 

They calm their breathings down without saying a word. Eren keeps his eyes closed as he comes down from his high. He listens to Jean’s panting against his neck, the sound having grown familiar and comfortable in the past weeks--no, _months_ they've been doing this. He groans when Jean dislodges him, and when Jean lays beside him, he has that terribly familiar feeling of being unsure of what to do next. Now that they both got what they wanted, what they look for in each other these days.

 

It’s been months, but Eren hasn’t gotten any close to knowing what exactly this is. And why he is incapable of stopping it.

 

“Next time you snap at Mikasa or any of us like that, I’ll make you regret it,” Jean huffs.

 

Eren doesn’t answer him. What can he say?

 

Jean stays for an uncomfortable while longer, it’s probably not that long but it feels like an eternity to Eren. He feels obliged to say something, anything to fill the heavy silence that settles between them, but they are not friends and they are not _lovers_. They just share a mutual desire that’s as fervid as it is confusing, as all-consuming as it is pointless and as infuriating as it is inevitable.

 

When Jean finally leaves, Eren doesn’t watch him go.

 

He feels cold again, but there is a pleasant buzz all over his body, even if his ass feels more than a bit sore.

 

Sex, Eren has found, is a short-lived stress reliever. A very intense, very overpowering stress reliever. The fact that it’s Jean he is doing it with only deems from the already violent nature of their relationship. He doesn’t know anyone else he’d be willing to show this side of himself to, and it’s only because Jean also confides deeply-hidden needs to Eren that Eren is able to do it with such ease now.

 

But that’s all it is, and all it will be. And if there is something more to it, he can’t be bothered to think twice about it. If he is unwilling to stop their little escapades, then he’d had to make sure to not regret them in the future. And he knows it's better to keep himself distant. To separate his thoughts from those of his body and just allow it to happen whenever he needs to, he doesn’t need yet another matter to drive him mad in the day and haunt his thoughts at night.

 

Not until everything is over, anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> listen this fic was such a pain jsifjd but whatever, I just needed to write angry canon sex at least once. Hope you enjoyed my self indulgence. Comments, as always, are appreciated <3


End file.
